Monday, March 3, 2008

Upset. Guilty. Embarrassed.

I know my week used to be Work. Off. Work. Repeat. But the last 3 weeks have been upsetting. Upsetting the weekly schedule and upsetting me.

It all boils down to a dire lack of sleep and frustration at my inability to accomplish all, or even part, of what I want to do, need to do, have to do.
I have not had a stretch of sleep longer than 3 hours. I have to postpone any kind of commitment, such as cutting my hair, topping up toiletries, updating this blog, for as much as 3 weeks. The house is a mess and it doesn't help that the part-time helper has left after 2 sessions of superficial cleaning.

Plus I feel guilty. That I can carve out time to attend scrapbooking classes and surf the net. Well actually, I have already paid up for the classes and would hate to forego them. And I'm online when feeding Little One, so it's a kind of multitasking. Nevertheless, guilty. That any time I am not looking after Little One, I am beholden to someone else to do so.

I have to admit that I alone cannot possibly handle everything. Let go of the need to do it all myself. And let go of embarrassment or guilt when asking for help.

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